O Fortuna Misheard Lyrics

Okay, it’s probably only because I’m up too late, but I found this funnier than I should have. Maybe you’ll enjoy it, too!

Here are the real lyrics (and translation) for anyone interested:

O Fortuna   (O Fortune)
velut luna   (like the moon)
statu variabilis,   (you are changeable)
semper crescis   (ever waxing)
aut decrescis;   (and waning;)
vita detestabilis   (hateful life)
nunc obdurate   (first oppresses)
et tunc curat   (and then soothes)
ludo mentis aciem,   (as fancy takes it;)
egestatem,   (poverty)
potestatem   (and power)
dissolvit ut glaciem.   (it melts them like ice.)

Sors immanis   (Fate — monstrous)
et inanis,   (and empty,)
rota tu volubilis,   (you whirling wheel,)
status malus,   (you are malevolent,)
vana salus   (well-being is vain)
semper dissolubilis,   (and always fades to nothing,)
obumbrata   (shadowed)
et velata   (and veiled)
michi quoque niteris;   (you plague me, too;)
nunc per ludum   (now through the game)
dorsum nudum   (I bring my bare back)
fero tui sceleris.   (to your villainy.)

Sors salutis   (Fate is against me)
et virtutis   (in health)
michi nunc contraria,   (and virtue,)
est affectus   (driven on)
et defectus   (and weighted down,)
semper in angaria.   (always enslaved.)

Hac in hora   (So at this hour)
sine mora   (without delay)
corde pulsum tangite;   (pluck the vibrating strings;)
quod per sortem   (since Fate)
sternit fortem,   (strikes down the strong man,)
mecum omnes plangite!   (everyone weep for me!)

Back to something more serious tomorrow, most likely.